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STUDENTS in ONE

Jokes

Tip the pizza delivery boy

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Larry. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."

Would you please move your cars?

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

food jokes

Q: Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

A: Because it was out of juice!
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Q: Where did the spaghetti go to the dance?

A: The meat ball!
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Q: Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

A: He needed some spare ribs!
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Q: Why do French people eat snails?

A: Because they don’t like fast food!
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Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?

A: Because he was not peeling very well!

English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Lets read and understand these sentences.
English is a not a correct language. Let's see what I mean.

There is no egg in the eggplant. Then what is in the eggplant?
No ham in the hamburger. Yet it is still call HAMburger.
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented in France. But where is these two from?

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that:

Smart Student

As a student we must not be hardworking only. We must also be smart in many things. Lets take a look at this short joke about a smart student in a university. ^.^

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.

Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.

My rules

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

10 husbands, still a virgin

This is a hilarious joke I found recently. Please read carefully and if there is anything you do not understand please send us a comment. We will explain clearly.
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. Whew its ten husband!

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"Oh my god, after ten husband yet you still a VIRGIN??" said the puzzled groom.

"Well, this is my explaination :

1 + 1 = 1 ?!

It was a fine day in a nursery. Mrs Rina(teacher) decide to ask her student a simple question.

Teacher : Ok, today I will ask some of you a mathematical questions. Hmmm... David, currently you had RM1 in your pocket. If your dad give you another RM1, how much do your have?

David : RM1.

Teacher (shocked): No its wrong, David. If you already had RM1 and daddy give another RM1 it become RM2.

David : No, its RM1.

Teacher : How could it be?

David : Teacher won't know my dad...he will never give me another RM1...

Teacher was speechless..

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